Considering and confusion

I haven’t posted about my feelings and plans lately. Much has been happening in my personal life that I won’t go into on the blog. I feel the most important relationship of my life may be ending and this is beyond difficult, especially as has been so central to my choices and hopes here. It is now six months since I moved from Siwa to Nuweiba, and while it was necessary for work and because I needed to be closer to T, things have not gone as I wished.

I am considering what I should do next. I am torn in many ways, and frustrated by this and my seeming inability to do much to change my situation. I have to dig deep and find the resources to make changes. Deeply weary and sad, but hopeful that this is a sign I must move forward, and I know to do that I must overcome the sadness and use optimism to make the next moves. Life here has driven home the fact that we can’t predict much in our future. I am thankful for the many blessings I have experienced here, and try to remember those as I contemplate what I can learn from what has happened, and find ways to continue.

Ramadan begins in a few days, so it is a perfect time to be looking inside myself and making some changes, on many levels. I hope I emerge from this month of fasting and meditation stronger and with a clearer view of potentials and how I can work towards them.

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