2011 was difficult for me, but also in some ways the best year of my life. It was filled with a great love, even in the hard times. 2012 has been more difficult, and it ends with the end of the most important relationship of my life.
The last night of 2009 and of 2010 I was in Siwa, seeing in each New Year at a small party at Ain Guba (Cleopatra Spring), a special place which became my second home in Siwa. The second of those New Year’s Eves and last New Year’s Eve I shared with this person who became so much of me. This week we parted, and though we will be in the same city for this New Year, we will not see each other. Today it is beyond imagining, but somehow I have to get through tomorrow night without him. And every day after.
I am exhausted but trying to find strength to go into 2013 with hope. I don’t know what that hope is for exactly, but I know life goes on and all that is assured is change. Sadness I am trying to meet with grace, and find some small joys in what is good in my life, when I know many others have far worse lives. At the moment life feels desperately empty and I cannot seem to see a future without my great love. I must make that future, and I guess the hope is that in time the difficulties will pass, even if the heart will never forget.
Sunset at Fatnas, salt lake, Siwa Oasis